The light at the end of the quarter.

    Man, it feels like forever since I have posted a blog. This quarter has been so incredible that I find it difficult to put into words. I have learned so much, but I also realize how much I have yet to learn. God has been moving in so many ways in our lives that it makes it easier and easier to get through each day. I know this is hard for the whole family, but I believe deep down that this is something He is doing to help our whole family grow so we will be ready to serve Him more fully. I have not had a job since September 30^th but God has provided side work, and some work for Crystal, but most of all He has moved through people at the church that have gone out of their way to help us along. I thank God for everyone at our church. I won't name anyone in particular, mostly because I would hate to leave anyone out, but also because there are so many people that have encouraged us and supported us. And this is just the first quarter. I spent 6 hours yesterday studying for the Evangelism final. Even at bed time I did not feel 100% comfortable with it. So I prayed about it last night and this morning. After 4 hours, I finally finished writing our all 10 pages from memory. I was beat. I still feel like my brain is fried. I am getting ready to start on my last Homiletics assignment and then study for the final exam tomorrow. Then it is on to Theology. I will do my best to blog more often and maybe share some of my stuff I am getting to learn.

Fruitland: First 2 weeks

I know it's been a while since I posted last. I have been extremely swamped in my first two weeks at Fruitland. I had no idea what it would really be like. I have a ton of reading and homework to do where I sometimes wonder how I will possibly get it all done. I have not found a job yet and part of me is wondering if I will. That being said, it is more wonderful there than I ever thought possible. I have learned so much already and the more I learn the more I realize I need to learn. I have made so many new friends there and I pray I can be of service to them in some way. I look forward to the long term friendships I know will develop there. I thank God for each one of them, some for the pure joy the exhibit, others for their strong faith, and still others for their constant support and encouragement. I am not worried about our income. I was worried the first week but the more time goes on the more I remember that I am only here by God's grace. I am the last person most people would think would be at a seminary preparing to go out and preach God's word and to lead His people. I certainly never did. As time goes on there, I am finding more and more that this is exactly where God wants me and that He designed me with this specific calling in mind. I am not sure where He will send me but where ever it is I will gladly follow.

I applied for an internship in the Youth Ministry at First Baptist Church of Hendersonville. I don't think God is specifically calling me to be a Youth Pastor, but I feel that He is telling me to get as much experience in as many different areas as I can. I don't know if that's because I did not grow up in church and have a lot to learn or because I will need all that knowledge for whatever He has planned. I have heard so many stories from so many different people about how and why they are there that one can't help but believe that God calls His people to service. So many have left jobs, offers of college scholarships, established lucrative businesses and even some had family leave them to follow God's calling in their lives and it is a blessing to be among so many faithful followers. I thank God for all those that are supporting us and praying for us. I know that God will see us through and will guide us to where He wants us to go.

He always provides.

    A few weeks ago I finally received the acceptance letter to Fruitland. I was thrilled. I knew I would get in but I was still waiting with only a month to go until classes start. Well, time has been ticking by and everyone keeps asking when I am going to school. My boss wants to know so he can look for a replacement but most were just curious or excited for me. I kept telling them I did not know for sure. I wonder sometimes what would happen if we actually told people what we believed. I have been telling Crystal for weeks that I was going to prepare like I was going and that I felt God would provide in the end. I went out and bought a backpack when they were on sale to hold my books and my computer. I have been trying to slowly pick up jeans and some decent button down shirts so I would have enough clothes to make it through the whole week. I picke3d up spare toiletries and priced out bed sheets as well as planning out the heavier blankets I would need to bring with. I have been crunching down to pay off as much outstanding debt as I can before I go.

    Hal asked me s couple of weeks ago how I was feeling. I told him I felt the kind of anxiousness that a guy feels when he has a vacation road trip planned at the end of the week. You may be all packed and ready to go, have all your sightseeing planned, and have a good stockpile of roadmaps in the car, but the day is Monday and you still have to wait all week for Friday. Well, the waiting is over and Friday is here. I told Crystal that now that I had been accepted, all I needed was the tuition money and a job. I told her that if we got the tuition money I would let God worry about the job as well since He has done all the rest anyway this is His plan. Things were getting close and even my boss was starting to wonder if I was ever going to give notice. Today I received an e-mail from Pastor Bobby. He informed me that someone had come forward and asked volunteered to pay my first quarter tuition. Now to some people this may sound odd. I was thankful and happy, but not at all surprised. Deep down I knew God would move I someone's heart to help us out. I knew that these walls that seem insurmountable to us are just cracks in the sidewalk to God. If it is in His plan He can overcome any odds to accomplish it and will if we ask Him to.

Thank you for guiding my path, Lord. Please help me to never let you down and to lean on your word day and night. Help my family and I learn whatever lessons you long to teach us and give us joy through all our trials.

What do you treasure?

Matthew 6:19-24 (NIV) ¹⁹"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 
20But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 
21For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

22"The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. 
23But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!

24"No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.

 

A couple of weeks ago when Hannah and I were driving home from church she started talking about how she hopes that eventually we can move somewhere and stay for a long time. It breaks my heart sometimes that they have been moved around several times in the last few years. She and I started talking about it and I explained that God has been leading us to a certain place in our lives. He has guided us to be in a position that we will be able to do His will.

There are usually a few things that motivate people to chase after stuff. Some people are always looking for the next greatest thing hoping this will fill their void. I would enjoy having some cool toys. I can picture myself driving around in a four door Jeep Wrangler, a nice boat, and a nice house. Many people chase after that stuff every day. Sometimes it is hard not to focus on them. People spend their live accumulating stuff thinking that it will make their life better or the empty holes in their lives will be filled up. The problem with this view is there's never enough stuff. Has there ever been something you were dying to get? You may have saved for years to get it or begged your parents all year to get it for Christmas. When you get it you are so excited you feel as you if might burst. That feeling will usually last for about a day or so (if you're lucky) and then settle into a mild warm feeling for a few weeks. After that it sort of dissolves and goes away. Sure you may still be glad that you have whatever you wanted, but it's not as important to you as you thought it would be. Pretty soon you're back longing for the next toy.

I can understand the desire to be settled somewhere. Most people want stability in their life. Everyone likes to have something in their lives that does not change. Something we can count on, trust, and lean on. I know a man that used to make almost $840,000 per year. That breaks down to $70,000 per month, $17,500 per week, $2500 per day, or $250 per hour. He had a large brick house, nice cars, lots of computers, TV's, movies, nice furniture, lots of presents at Christmas, etc…. He was able to take his family on expensive vacations and pay for his kid's colleges. He did all this partly because it made him look good in the eyes of the world and partly because he wanted stability for himself and his family. However, he had no relationship with his children. His children had no relationship with him or with God. But isn't that what we are supposed to do according to the world? The world tells us to chase after wealth. It tells us the more we accumulate the more respectable and wise we are. Jesus tells us that we should not work on storing up treasures on earth where moth and rust destroy. Jesus is telling us that the things of this world are fleeting. They can be here today and gone tomorrow. Nothing in this world lasts forever. I explained to Hannah that there is nothing stabile in this world that we can count on. If we put our hopes in the things of this world we will be severely disappointed. How many people in the last 4-5 years have had a rude awakening? How many people have lost their homes to foreclosures? How many have lost their jobs due to cut backs? How many had cars repossessed because they could not afford the payments? Even in recent events not associated with the economy, haw many homes were destroyed by the fires in California? Anything we think is secure in this world can subject to destruction at any given moment. It can be here today and gone tomorrow.

Jesus does not tell us it's wrong to be well off or even rich. What He teaches us is not to put our faith in them and treasure them. It does not mean having them but treasuring them. Have you ever seen a miser counting his money in an old movie? That is what is meant by treasuring. He has complete faith in his money and an unequaled love for it. Jesus tells us to store up treasures in heaven. If we make the focus of our life or the pursuit of our life to follow after heavenly things we can't go wrong. The treasures we earn by working for our Father in heaven while we are here on earth will never be destroyed. They will not rust. Moths will not eat them. Fire will not burn them down. The economy of heaven will never collapse and the bank of heaven will never foreclose. If we spend our earthly lives serving or Lord in heaven no one will be able to take away our wages and the laborers for His kingdom have never experienced a layoff. I said earlier that there is nothing in this world that we can count on. There is nothing stable in this world.

The only thing we can count on while we are in this world is God. He will never change. His love for us will never change. His promises to us will never change. The man we talked about earlier is now working just to pay his rent; he has no house, and drives an older car he has had for years. But, he now has a relationship with Christ. He now has a relationship with his children. He now knows that pursuing the things of this world are a waste of time. He still is trying to earn a good living, but not to pursue earthly wealth. He now works to further God's kingdom. He would now be more proud to hear his children say they have come to a relationship with Christ than to say they made CEO of a mega corporation. I urge you to make your life's pursuit to follow after the Kingdom of God and to secure a place there. Don't pursue the things of this world. They will not last and they are fleeting. The incredible feeling you will get from feeding a hungry child, providing medical care for the sick, providing an education to a village, or showing love to someone who is lonely will never go away. Step out of your world to serve those around you. When it comes to managing their 401K many people spend hours a week following the stock market to be sure of where to invest their plan for a maximum return. They want to make sure that their stocks won't crash. I have news for them. God's word will never come back void. It is a guaranteed investment every time.

Faith like a Child

As summer time is quickly coming to an end I find myself acutely aware of how soon my school is supposed to start (Still waiting for all the details). I can't stop thinking about all the things we hoped we could get done and all we wanted to save up this summer. Crystal and I keep talking about it and sometimes I feel very discouraged about whether God is trying to tell me the timing is not right or something. I think about how crazy it seems to drop everything and go off to school with no idea of where the money will come from. I know the church says they will help, but I don't know how much and I am assuming that is referring towards tuition. If it was just me that would be fine but with a family I need a real income as well. Thinking about all this can get very frustrating….then I feel like I just don't have enough faith which just gets me angry at myself.

This week for Sunday School we were covering some material that got me thinking. One of the scriptures we were discussing was from the book of Judges.

Judges 6:13-16 ( NIV )
¹³"But sir," Gideon replied, "if the LORD is with us, why has all this happened to us? Where are all his wonders that our fathers told us about when they said, 'Did not the LORD bring us up out of Egypt?' But now the LORD has abandoned us and put us into the hand of Midian." 14The LORD turned to him and said, "Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian's hand. Am I not sending you?" 15"But Lord," Gideon asked, "how can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family."16The LORD answered, "I will be with you, and you will strike down all the Midianites together."

The more I read this passage and others like it I started to realize how when God wants to use us for something, He tends to stack the odds against us. Look at Gideon. As he said he was the weakest member of the weakest clan in his tribe. I mean we are talking about the kid that always got picked last for kickball on a co-ed team. It's no wonder the poor guy had doubts and was more than a little nervous. Like Jeff, my Sunday School teacher, said….imagine if God told you that He wanted you to go and single handedly defeat the Taliban in Afghanistan and bring our soldiers home. Any sane person would be asking more than their share of questions. However, look at verse 16; ¹⁶The LORD answered, "I will be with you, and you will strike down all the Midianites together." God does not call us to do something and then hang us out to dry. He leads us through it and see's us through to the end. He also provides us everything we need to accomplish the task He has set before us. God did the same thing with Moses. Moses was raised as a Prince of Egypt. He most likely knew the full complement of the Egyptian army, how they were trained, and their skill in battle. He probably led many soldiers in campaigns for Egypt. He also had seen the Hebrew slaves and knew how broken they were. He knew that none of them had skill in battle or any weapons to speak of so when God told him to deliver His people out of Egypt I am sure he was having a different strokes moment, "Whatchu talkin about…." But God told Moses the same thing He told Gideon.

Exodus 3:12 ( NIV ) 12And God said, "I will be with you. And this will be the sign to you that it is I who have sent you: When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you will worship God on this mountain."
We find the same thing with Joshua when he took over the mantle of leadership after Moses died;

Joshua 1:1-9 ( NIV ) 1After the death of Moses the servant of the LORD, the LORD said to Joshua son of Nun, Moses' aide:
2"Moses my servant is dead. Now then, you and all these people, get ready to cross the Jordan River into the land I am about to give to them—to the Israelites.
3I will give you every place where you set your foot, as I promised Moses.
4Your territory will extend from the desert to Lebanon, and from the great river, the Euphrates—all the Hittite country—to the Great Sea on the west.
5No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you. 6"Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their forefathers to give them. 7Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. 8Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. 9Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."

Time and time again God tells us and then shows us that He will be with us carry us through whatever task He sets before us. So here I am with all this scripture that records all different people that God called to His service and just like me looked at the obstacles in their path and wondered how on earth it would ever happen. It also shows how God stacked obstacles so big in front of them that they could never, ever do it on their own. In my head I know God does this because not only does it show how great He is and how He can accomplish anything even using such poor tools as us. So, as I started asking myself whether this is what God is doing for me, building my faith through exercise the same way you build a muscle, by working it out and stretching its limits, Alyssa overheard Crystal and I on the phone talking about money. We were discussing where it was going to come from and how we would make it stretch to cover everything. Well, Alyssa asked Crystal, "Why are you worried about money? God will give us what we need." It was like WOW. It's one thing to know it from a intellectual knowledge of scripture but to here it voice so faithfully from the mouth of a child makes you focus on the truth of it. Luke 18:16 ( NIV ) 16But Jesus called the children to him and said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these." Oh that we all had the complete faith of little children. I know some people will think I am crazy, but I believe God will see us through. I have no idea how, but I believe he will and I look forward to the day that we can look back and thank God for the way He provided for us and taught us how to trust Him.

Well, I am slowly getting more practice. Pastor Bobby gave me the opportunity to do two more Wednesday night services and helping with the Sunday service. I felt like it went much better this time. I did a lot less overall planning and the message just came to me inspired from little things here or there. I mean it was really strange because I sent two nights in a row working on it the last time but never felt right about it. Wednesday afternoon I started thinking about the vine and the branch and it just kind of went from there. I am slowly getting more comfortable up there but I think it is more that I did not worry too much about what I was saying and just let it happen. I find the planned speaking is when I have the hardest time.

Work has picked up a little this week but it is still slow and I feel like I am still so far behind. Crystal does not think I will be able to go to school this fall and may have to wait until January so we can get the rest of our bills paid off. I am praying that God will provide the money I need this summer to get it all paid off. I keep coming across verses that are standing out at me and I think God is trying to tell me to turn to Him and trust Him. I just don't quite know how to get this across to Crystal.

Isaiah 31:1 ( NIV ) ¹Woe to those who go down to Egypt for help,

who rely on horses,

who trust in the multitude of their chariots

and in the great strength of their horsemen,

but do not look to the Holy One of Israel,

or seek help from the LORD.

Getting back into teaching.

Well, last week Bobby let me teach the Wednesday night service. I felt I bombed but I had good feedback. I think I mostly over planned. This past Sunday I got to teach Sunday School and it went much better. I felt like I was more comfortable but I will have to be careful about getting to carried away with the soap box.

Ambassadors for Christ

I recently hear of a survey that asked what people thought of when they heard the title "Christian".

The results were staggering. Among the answers were; hypocrite, cruel, judgmental, & fake. Amazingly enough I was shocked. I say amazingly because that those are some of the same things I thought when visiting some churches before I was saved. How many of you have known someone who claimed to be a Christian but you would never know it to observe them closely?

When I went with Bobby to visit Fruitland I had a bit of a dilemma. I am a pretty laid back guy when it comes to dress standards. Most of you have seen me come to church for years in jeans, a button down shirt and my cowboy boots. I have always felt that we come to church to worship God and he really does not care what we wear. Not everyone feels the same and since Bobby was bringing me down there I did not want to embarrass him. So I called Bobby the night before to ask his opinion on what I should wear. You see, it's not that I cared what they thought of me or thought Bobby cared how I dressed, but I respect Bobby and I was there in Bobby's name representing him, so I did not want to make him look bad. How many "Christians" don't give God that kind of respect?

I am not saying that when you walk down the street people who don't know you should or will be able to tell you're a Christian or even if they start to get to know you a little….what I am saying is that when you tell someone you're a Christian, they should not be surprised.

Before we all start looking around us and scrutinizing our neighbors, let's take a long hard look at ourselves first. What kind of god is each one of us representing?

Luke 6:12-13 ( NIV ) ¹²One of those days Jesus went out to a mountainside to pray, and spent the night praying to God.
13When morning came, he called his disciples to him and chose twelve of them, whom he also designated apostles:

The English word "Apostles" comes from the Greek word "Apostolos". This is similar to the word "Apostello" which means "sent out" or messenger. The Apostles were so much more than mere messengers; they were Apostolos, which is more along the lines of an ambassador, delegate, or official representative. This actually had an exact parallel in Aramaic that the Apostles would be familiar with since it was common since before the days of Abraham;" shaliah".

The Shaliah was an official representative of the Sanhedrin, the ruling counsel of the Jewish Culture. He was sent to act on their behalf. They acted with the complete and total authority of the Sanhedrin. So when Jesus called them "Apostles", they knew that He was saying they were His official representatives to the world, acting on His behalf with His complete authority.

"This still applies to us today."

When you meet someone that claims to represent another party, their actions and words reflect on that party.

"How many of you here tonight work for a company that places a high importance on you behavior and actions while at work, and in some cases even when you're not?" -usually explained in an employee handbook, right?

"I got news for you, we have one too."

Colossians 3:1-17 ( NIV ) 1Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God.

2Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.
3For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.
4When Christ, who is your^£ life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

5Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.
6Because of these, the wrath of God is coming.^£
7You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived.
8But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.
9Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices
10and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.
11Here there is no Greek or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.

12Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.
¹³Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
¹⁴And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

15Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.
16Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.
17And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

"This is what an Ambassador to Christ looks like.

How do you demonstrate yourself to be a Christian?

• Do you regularly attend church?
  
• Do you give regularly?
  
• Are you serving on various committees for the church?
  
• Do you greet people, smile, and shake hands on Sunday?
  
• Are you involved in many different church activities?
  
• Are you able to give eloquent and confident public prayers?
  

These are some of the things that can make us look like we are Christians.

Isn't this what many people would consider a model Christian?

Unfortunately, this is all many people do. How many times is this all mask……..or a charade as to who they really are.

John 15:1-2 ( NIV ) ¹"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. ²He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes^£ so that it will be even more fruitful.

"Is this fruit? It depends on how the rest of your life looks…..and what is in your heart. "

What is your week from Monday to Saturday like? How do you represent Christ? Do you honor him with your speech and actions? Or do you bring shame to His name by telling people that you are a Christian as you use His name in vain……get drunk Friday night at the bar…..share in the inappropriate jokes at work……or just treat those around you just plain bad.

What are you business practices like? How many of you would feel comfortable with having the IRS scrutinize your books? Well, God looks much closer.

"The Pharisees of Jesus' day were like this. They appeared righteous and followed the rules and rituals but they lost the essence of what it was all about.
Their hearts were not right with God. It was all for show. Many people today claim to be Christians, but if you really examine the fruit of their lives you will find that it is rotten and sour."

James 2:17 ( NIV ) ¹⁷In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.
James 2:26 ( NIV ) 26As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead.

"Now don't confuse what myself or James is saying. James is not contradicting Paul who said that" it is by grace that we are saved," what he is saying is that if you're saved and you are a follower of Christ that your faith will become evident by your actions." This can work both ways. You may do all these things we talked about earlier when you're at church………but what do you do the rest of the time?"

You see….deeds can go both ways; "faith without deeds is dead"……some deeds can show your faith to be dead.

"I am not trying to tell you that you will be perfect or that I am perfect (believe me, my wife would be the first one laughing if I did). If we could, we would not need Christ. But you should be inspecting your life daily and asking God to do the same."

Psalms 139:23-24 ( NIV ) 23Search me, O God, and know my heart;

test me and know my anxious thoughts.

24See if there is any offensive way in me,

and lead me in the way everlasting.

2 Corinthians 5:17 ( NIV ) ¹⁷Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

"if the old has not gone...why not? Are you a new creation?"

Matthew 10:32-33 ( NIV ) 32"Whoever acknowledges me before men, I will also acknowledge him before my Father in heaven.

33But whoever disowns me before men, I will disown him before my Father in heaven.

"do your deeds acknowledge Him…or disown him."

If you are sitting in here congregation today, and you have not decided who you are going to follow, I urge you not to wait. We have a bad tendency as people to procrastinate. We tend to think that we have all the time in the world and that tomorrow is another day. Today is the day of your salvation! "Choose for yourselves this day who you will serve" If you choose to serve GOD and our Lord Jesus Christ, don't look back. Don't dwell in your old life; instead rejoice in your new life in Christ. Come forward today and don't wait another moment. Serve Him with all your heart, all your mind, and all your soul."

Step 1

Well, we finally got everything out of the house and the final touch ups and cleaning done.  Now we need to get everything organized.  Everyone is very tired from a week and a half of moving in the rain.  At last we had some nice weather for the last day.  We have all been rather on edge and short tempered but we are surviving.

Tomorrow is supposed to be my first day leading prayer and reading scripture at church.  I am really nervous and not at all sure of what I am going to say but I pray God will give me the word to use and the confidence to speak.

The way work is going I am not at all sure of where we will get the money from for school much less the repairs I need to make on the cars before then but I will trust in God and wait and see.

Pator's Lunch

Wednesday was pretty cool. I was invited to a Pastors lunch hosted by Joe Gibbs at his race shop. I had the opportunity to hear Randy Alcorn speak about his book "Heaven" followed by Joe Gibbs talking about his new book coming out called "Gods Plan for Life". I enjoyed meeting the Pastors that were there as well as Mr. Gibbs. I am still getting used to being in settings like that and am not always comfortable. I feel like I don't belong in the same room as most of them. I am sure they all felt the same and may still.

Change

I was just thinking about how much I have changed in the last 4 years and it occured to me that since those changes were due to growing closer to the Lord.....how many changes can I expect as I attempt to follow Him completely and trust in Him for all our needs?  I find myself wondring what else He has to teach me and where He will lead me.

Visit to Fruitland

Yesterday I had the opportunity to go and visit Fruitland.  I had a great time.  I went with Pastor Hal & Pastor Bobby.  The school has a great feel to it.  You can tell there is a strong love for Jesus there.  The scheduling should allow time for me to hold a part timr job out there without adversly affecting my studies.
I feel this is the place for me and that God will provide a way.

""God demonstrates His own love for us in this, while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.""

Romans 5:8

Taken back a bit....

I am amazed at the support I have gotten from people at work about my decision. I can only pray that the Lord can use the journey He is leading me on to touch other people in my life. I just had a guy at work who I have had difficulty with in the past come up and give is encouragements and support. Even though he is an adament unbeliever he was proud of and amazed at my decision to follow God's calling.

What next?

Well, now I need to learn more about how this is going to happen. Pastor Bobby and I are going up to visit Fruitland Baptist Bible Institute in Hendersonville, NC in a few weeks. I am excited about seeing the campus and learning about the program. The more I think about what's ahead of me I realize that the only way it will happen is if He provides the way...
I mean, it just seems so huge and the task so impossible. I have never been a great student or speaker and He wants me to teach His word...God please show me the way.

Trust & Obey

As many of you know I have been seeking direction for my future for quite some time. I have not been happy with my job or my career for a long time. Well, in the past 1 1/2 years I have seen my income drop to 1/3 of what it used to be. A few months ago my family decided we had no choice but to move in with my in-laws. However we knew that would not be enough and that I still needed to have a change of direction. I had sent out dozens of resumes with no luck and to be honest, with no real interest in any of those jobs. Well, finally I decided I had to pick a direction and go in it. A couple of months ago I told Crystal that I was going to sign up for a class A CDL course this August if nothing else came up. She was not thrilled but understood I was trying to do whatever was necessary to support our family.

A few weeks ago, the Saturday before Palm Sunday, I was working and all day long I kept feeling this urge to pray for direction. What I kept thinking was that I wanted to tell the Lord that I needed His help. I wanted to tell Him that if He wanted me to go somewhere else to let me know. I also wanted to tell Him to please make it obvious because He knows how dense I can be sometimes. Well, I tried stopping by the Chapel but it was closed that evening. So I went home where I had a hard time finding a quiet place. The next day I was on stage for the Palm Sunday performance and I kept picturing the image of Jesus riding into Jerusalem on that Sunday morning. I kept thinking what a shining example of obedience He is to us because He knew where that road was heading yet He proceeded obediently to do the Father's will.

I guess I should say at this point that I normally serve as a counselor at the 11:00 service (I know some of you are rolling on the floor right now). Well, my job is to be available to help with anyone who wants to join the church, accept Christ, or has any other needs. I was not planning on being there that day because of the choir schedule but at the last minute realized that I could get there to be available if needed. After the service was over and the greetings were done, Pastor Bobby asked me if he could have a word with me. I said sure. He told me that I had been on his mind lately and felt he needed to ask me if I had ever thought about going into the ministry. I was in shock. I tried to answer his questions and give some reasons why I could not. He already had an answer to one of my biggest obstacles which was a school that provides all the training without needing a college degree. I told him I would think and pray about it. Since then, my mind has done back flips with the debate inside my head. I have prayed about it numerous times and every fiber of my being tells me this is where He wants me to go. I have no idea how God can use "me", but He must have a plan. I know some of you will think I am nuts and have gone off the deep end but until you believe in the power of prayer and have faith in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior you may never understand. For those that do, please don't think this is something that I am "fit" for or "obvious". I can think of many people who would be a better fit for it. Like I said I don't know what He will use me for but only he can do it.

Today I went forward and announced my intentions to pursue a life in the ministry with all the support of my family and brothers and sisters in Christ. We have no idea how this will happen or where He will send us but we are going to trust in Him.

I will follow...

     After a lot of prayer and looking back at the past four years I have decided that God has been leading me this whole time and guiding me this moment.  I was holding off to be sure of how Crystal felt.  I did not realize that she was sure she would follow wherever I am led.

    I believe in my heart that God is calling me to the ministry.  I don't know where He will lead us or how I can serve Him but I don't want to spend a lifetime running from His will.  He has supported us even in the worst of times so I trust that He will no matter what.  Pastor Scott told me that if I am being called to the ministry, nothing else will appeal to me or satisfy me.  I believe he's right.  I can't think of anything else I would even remotely want to do.  Even if I won the Lotto I have felt for a long time that I would be able to start a variety of charitable support organizations and dedicate my time to full time volunteer work.

     So, Father please guide my steps as I commit my life to your service and let your Word light my path.

Rough beginnings

I spoke to my Dad yesterday.  Who would have thought my Dad would support the idea of me going into the ministry.  He said he had been praying about that recently and was not at all surprised.  Neither was Julie.  He told me about some Pastors he knows that had equally rough starts.  I am reading about the Apostles.  I felt compelled to try and understand who they were before they were called.  The more Ithink about it, most people who served the Lord did not have the best of beginnings.  Rehab & Mary Magdalen were both prostitutes and Rehab ended up being one of Jesus's ancestors while Mary was one his most famous followers.
""God demonstrates His own love for us in this, while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.""

Romans 5:8

Still listening...

     Well, I am approaching the end of holy week with Easter being tomorrow.  I have not yet come to a conclusion but I have slept better all week than I have in a long time.  How do we really know when Good ia calling us?  Once we do,how do we go about surrendering.  Sometimes I feel like analyzing a situation to make a decision shows a lack of faith but others I feel like it is just that I am trying to be sure of God's will in this matter.

This is the McDonald's we stopped at for breakfast in Ashville, NC

""God demonstrates His own love for us in this, while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.""

Romans 5:8

Israel

I think I really understand the name "Israel". Pastor Hal 

mentioned that Jacob wrestled with God all night. Because 

of that He changed Jacobs name to Israel. I always had

trouble understanding this passage. I guess I always

focused on the physical impossiblity of someone "wrestling"

with God. Only now do I consider that maybe it is talking 

about a battle of wills.

Getting out of my own way.

I have heard it said many times that we need to get out of our own way when it comes to serving God...I am starting to see that first hand. I have all kinds of reasons I am coming up with why I can't, shouldn't, or why there has to be someone else and what's really bad is I also have many of the reasons why those excuses don't hold water. So what is holding me back? What is keeping me from taking that first step?

What I am really finding strange is that I am falling asleep better the past few nights and getting up easier than I have in months.  Overall I feel rested and alert.

Why didn't anyone tell me?

I have spoken to several people now that when I asked them why someone would suggest I go into the ministry respond, "Well, isn't it obvious?" Now I am wondering what they are seeing that I did not. Jimmie reminded me tonight that he suggested the same thing to me a few months ago.

Seeking guidance

I have been praying for guidance for a long time.  I came to Christ in the fall of 2005 and have been feeling ever since that God had a plan for my life that I have not found yet.  I had started teaching a few months prior and wondered if there was a purpose behind it.  

Less than a year later my family and I had the opportunity to transfer to NC.  We we were interested but nervous about whether it was the right place for us and I was having trouble locating a church we would like.  I spoke to our Pastor, Scott Polling, and reassured us that if God was behind our decision to move that he already had a place picked out for us.  I felt like we were supposed to go.  The very next week I found it.  It was like I knew right away that was where God wanted me to go.  I started listening to the sermons online about 6 months before we moved so I was excited to go.

When we got here and got settled in we decided to take a trip over to the church and check it out in the middle of the week.   Crystal could not believe I had picked a church so far from home.  I kept saying I wanted to try it out.  Sunday morning finally came around.  When we arrived at church we found out it was a guest speaker.  At first I was like "Oh no.", since I was anxious to hear the Pastor teach.  It turned out the speaker was a man named Mark Cahill.  He was a fantastic speaker and very fired up about the Gospel and reaching the lost.  It was like I knew instantly that this was where God wanted us.

In the past 2 1/2 years we have lived here that church has become a home to us full of beloved family members that have been such a part of our lives I can't imagine being somewhere else.  Well, in that time my job has taken a turn for the worse.  I left teaching because even though I enjoyed it I was not crazy about education for profit.  I went back into a shop which has been a heavy struggle because since I was saved I have changed a lot and I am not used to the swearing and the atmosphere in a shop.  I have never felt comfortable here and feel like it brings out the worst in me.  I have struggled since day one and never really felt like I was called to be here.  Well, with the financial crisis this country is going through I have really started seeking anything that will support my family but what I really want is something that I could both support my family and reach others for Christ.  I am happiest when I am serving our church and have previously wondered if God has been nudging me in that direction.  However I also have felt like David and don't know if I am worthy to walk that road.

Well recently I decided with the blessing of my in-laws that we would move in with them, since my paycheck is less than half of what it used to be, and go to school for my class A CDL.  That would allow me to start providing a better life for my family and have the opportunity to reach others.  I decided that I had sent out enough resumes that if God wanted me to do something else, He would let me know by the end of the summer.  Last Sunday, Palm Sunday, Pastor Bobby stopped me and told me that I had been on his mind and was wondering if I had ever thought about going into ministry.  He said he knew a school that did not require a college degree and I could transfer the credits later if I wanted to get one.  I was blown away.  Now I feel like Gideon asking, "O.K. God, if that was your sign...give me another one to let me know.   So just when I thought I had everything figured out, now I am really in turmoil.  So now I am talking to different people like he suggested to see what their call was like and asking God to guide me...